Lovin' it at McDonald's
by daimaoislove
Summary: Daisuke gets more than what he bargained for when he meets a dubious employee at McDonald's, who decides to make his life a living hell. *Ever since I read Stefanie's fan account with the McDonald's coupon ordeal, I have been itching to write a fic about it. And then this spiraled out of control...I hope you can enjoy my lame attempts at humor otherwise.


Daisuke waited in front of the elementary school, eager to see his son after a full week without him. He could never get used to the fact that he was only able to take his little boy home on the weekends. Even if Ryouma was a handful and drove him nuts, he still enjoyed the time they spent together.

"Daddy!" Ryouma yelled as he ran across the playground to greet his father, jumping onto him and almost knocking them both to the ground.

"Whoah there little guy, are you really that happy to see me?" Daisuke chuckled, steadying himself as he embraced his boy.

Ryouma nodded rapidly, "I sure am! You promised to take me to McDonald's this time, remember?!" he shouted happily.

His father tsked. "Is that the only reason you're so excited?" he asked with a fake pout. "I thought I would cook up some soborro for lunch today."

Ryouma scowled, exclaiming, "I don't want to eat your cooking, daddy! It tastes like butt!"

Daisuke spluttered, "Excuse me? What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Aw, c'mon daddy, I wanna go to McDonald's today! You promised…" the seven year old whined.

"Fine, fine," Daisuke conceded hesitantly, "We'll go to McDonalds…"

"Yay!"

When the father-son duo went into the restaurant, Ryouma ran for the play area and Daisuke stood in line to make an order.

"Hi there! Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?" a chipper voice greeted when it was finally his turn.

"Uh yeah…Kyousuke is it?" Daisuke began, addressing the employee by his first name, which he conveniently learned by reading the tag pinned to his uniform. "I'll have a kid's meal and one order of large fries, extra salt. Oh, and a water please." He had come into the joint set on ordering himself _only_ a cup of water, but the smell of fresh, greasy potatoes tempted him enough to disregard his diet. At least for one day.

"Alright, with tax that'll be $8.59 please."

Suddenly recalling something, Daisuke made a start and pulled out his phone in a hurry, "Oh, wait! I remember I have a coupon!"

As he scrolled through his mobile device, Daisuke almost failed to recognize the sound of barely restrained laughter coming from across the counter. He looked up from his phone and the employee, Kyousuke, made no effort to conceal the teasing smirk on his face.

"What's so funny?" Daisuke asked, bemused.

"Well, it's not every day that I see someone dressed in an Armani suit, trying to get discounts with coupons," Kyousuke said with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Daisuke's ears turned hot and he could swear the employee was enjoying his embarrassment. "It's not unusual to use coupons, everybody does it!" he retorted defensively.

Kyousuke flashed him a teasing grin in response and Daisuke decided he didn't like this boy. Nope. It looked like he was having way too much fun making a fool out of him.

As he waited for his order, Daisuke tried not to look Kyousuke's way since he was still embarrassed after the coupon ordeal (he ended up not using it after all).

"Order number 26!"

It took a moment and one more announcement that his order was ready for Daisuke to realize that he was called on, and he went over to take his order. Looking down at the tray, he became mortified when he saw 3 rectangular coupons spread out underneath his fries. He glanced toward the register and Kyousuke gave him a wink. Oh yeah, Daisuke _really_ didn't like this guy.

Squaring his shoulders to act confident, Daisuke turned away and headed for the play area where he could hear Ryouma playing loudly in the ball pen. He barely sat down before his ruffled son came running toward him, shouting, "Food!"

The small table barely managed to stay still when Ryouma threw himself on it with so much force it could have broken it apart. Not even a few minutes later, the child managed to finish his chicken nuggets and ran back to the play area with ketchup-stained fingers and grease on his blouse. Daisuke just shook his head with a weary sigh and carefully placed his arms on the table, avoiding the dirtied parts of it.

Fridays were always good. Aside from having time to spend with his son, Fridays were the time when his favorite online author uploaded a new chapter of that story he had been drooling over for the past few weeks. Daisuke shot up in his seat and reached for his phone without hesitation, tapping in the familiar web address on his Google Chrome app. It took a moment to log into the restaurant's wifi, but he sat back with a sigh of relief when a _New Update_ notification flashed on his screen.

 _Cowboy Crazy_ was an ongoing story that Daisuke had been, well, _crazy_ about. The plot was about a free-spirited cowboy who was disowned by his family when he came out. He finds true love with his older brother's best friend who tried to do whatever it took to keep him safe. Daisuke loved the drama of their gradual romantic buildup, and this particular chapter held promise for the climax after weeks of growing sexual tension.

Daisuke glanced around the play area to ensure his son was behaving himself. When he saw Ryouma burying another little boy in a mound of colorful balls, he looked around one more time to make sure that nobody else paid him any mind. With his heart fluttering in excitement, he began to read:

 _Walker took slow steps toward Slate, the latter's heart beating rapidly beneath his ribcage. He reached over to caress his arm and Slate gulped nervously when he saw the arcs of desire in his deep, midnight eyes._

" _You seem nervous."_

 _Slate denied the accusation with a shake of his head, though his heated cheeks deceived him, and Walker grabbed him by his belt and pulled him flush against his straining jeans._

"Daddy! Daddy!" Ryouma screeched, causing his father to almost drop the phone on the greasy table. "I'm going to play shark attack with my new friend, Taiki, and I'm going to be the shark!" the young boy exclaimed, baring his teeth before biting aggressively into a handful of his dad's fries.

Daisuke looked up to see a cute little boy, around the same age as his son, running into a blue tunnel. "Alright, Ryo-kun, go play with your friend and I'll watch you, okay?"

Ryouma took a slurp of his drink before running after his playmate. To be safe, Daisuke waited a few minutes to be sure the coast was clear before he pulled out his phone once more to continue from where he left off.

" _I want you to make love to me," Slate whispered before reaching up to kiss—_

"Would you like a refill?"

Daisuke startled when he recognized the voice of the employee, Kyousuke. He looked up with panic and jumped back in his seat when he saw the young man looming over him.

"N-no…I don't want…wait, what?" Daisuke said in a high pitch and crack in his voice, making him sound none-too-masculine.

Kyousuke smirked and Daisuke wished him to the dark depths of hell where he was sure he came from. "Our customers usually serve themselves, but you looked so… _immersed_ in what you're doing."

Daisuke just stayed frozen to his spot, looking dumb with his mouth agape as Kyousuke sighed. "You stay comfortable and I'll go get you some more water, okay?" he said casually, grabbing the plastic cup and heading for the drink fountain.

 _Just take a deep breath, Daisuke…there's no way he could've seen what you were reading…right?_ Daisuke growled with frustration and mussed up his hair as he thought of the possibility before Kyousuke walked back into the play room.

"Here you are, _cowboy_ ," the employee exclaimed, placing particular emphasis on his words as he put a full cup of water in front of Daisuke. The older man spluttered but decided not to say anything in order to avoid further humiliation. At this point, he was certain the other man had seen _something_. Kyousuke just playfully clicked his tongue while he gestured a pointed gun with his hands toward Daisuke, winking mischievously before going back to work.

At this point, the older man was far too mortified to stay in the restaurant any longer. He called for his son and had to practically drag him out of the place.

"I didn't want to leave yet, I didn't want to! You're the worst daddy in the whole wide world and I hate you!" Ryouma cried on the way back home. Daisuke huffed out a sigh, both relieved to be out of the McDonald's and disconcerted at having ruined his son's good time. "I didn't even get a chance to say bye to Taiki-kun! I'm never going to talk to you again…" the boy whined with a sniffle.

"Sorry kid, I just remembered that I had something really important to do at home right now…I promise I'll bring you back some other time, alright?" Daisuke had a feeling he would regret that promise as soon as he blurted it out.

Ryouma wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Really…? We can go again soon?" he asked, still teary-eyed.

"Yes."

"Okay…I guess I can forgive you just this once."

Daisuke smiled and ruffled his son's hair.

When they got home, he sent Ryouma up for an afternoon nap and decided to sit back and continue his story. He was just getting to the juicy parts after all. Right when he reached into his pockets, however, he went into a frenzy when he realized _he didn't have his phone_.

Daisuke rushed over to his landline and called up the McDonald's as fast has his fingers could press the dials, and was greeted by the annoying voice of a woman. _At least it wasn't Kyousuke_ , he thought fleetingly.

"Uh, hi, I left my phone in the play area today, can you check if it's still there?" he asked with urgency.

"Ah, yes! You must be the man who left your phone here a little while ago!" Daisuke nodded even though the person on the other line could not see him. "An employee named 'Kyousuke' said he found your phone and took it home to be safe. He said you can come back tomorrow to get it, he'll be here from 8 to 5."

Daisuke visibly paled.

 _Of all people in the world…it had to be him…_

…..

The next day could not have come quickly enough, and Daisuke practically chewed his fingernails off as he watched the time during his work hours, pleading with the universe to make the clock run a little more quickly so he can retrieve his phone from Kyousuke's evil clutches. It was horrific enough that the employee caught him reading an erotic romance story, in the play area of a McDonald's restaurant of all places in the world! He definitely didn't need him to see his entire library of saved online fictions.

As soon as his shift was over, he rushed out of the office and speeded his way to the infamous McDonald's to finally get his phone back.

When he got there, he yanked the door open dramatically and made his way toward Kyousuke who was behind the counter, looking like he had been expecting him to pop in at any moment.

"Howdy, cowboy!"

Daisuke wished the ground would just open up and swallow him right there. But he needed his phone. Trying to maintain the last shreds of his non-existent dignity, he squared his shoulders and held a hand out, wriggling his fingers demandingly.

"Watcha want there, partner?" Kyousuke said as he watched his hand, looking up at him with a wink.

Daisuke retracted his hand as if it had been burned, and then sternly said, "I want my phone. Now."

Kyousuke snorted with amusement, "What's wrong? Afraid of what I'll find on it?"

Daisuke had to remind himself that he was in a public place. "Can I get it back, _please_."

"Oh yeah, you left right before you could read the best part about the love affair!" Kyousuke's lip twitched and Daisuke was sure he was holding back one of his dubious grins.

"Just give it to me," the elder man growled lowly.

Kyousuke was not fazed, "Fine, no need to get feisty," he said as he reached into his pocket for the phone. He held it out with a dramatic sigh and Daisuke was quick to snatch it from his grasp, holding the device to his chest almost protectively.

"Thank you," he mumbled, turning to leave. Kyousuke stopped him by tugging on his suit sleeve.

"From now on, you should be more careful about where you read that kind of stuff, ne? After all, a children's play room with your kid around isn't the best place for that kind of _literature_."

"You really are something, aren't you…?"

Kyousuke just winked. If Daisuke didn't know any better, he would think that he was _flirting_ with him. Without giving such ridiculous thoughts any heed, the older man walked just walked away, hoping that the employee had not seen the embarrassing blush on his cheeks.

…..

A week later, Daisuke waited to take his son home from school and spend the day with him again. Like he usually did, Ryouma ran over to his dad and jumped him, almost knocking them both over.

"Hey buddy, ready to spend some time with daddy?"

"Yeah!" Ryouma shouted optimistically. "Let's go to McDonald's first, I'm hungry!"

 _McDonald's…_

Damn it, Daisuke had promised his son that he would take him to McDonald's again some time, and that time was finally at hand, apparently.

"Uh, say Ryouma…how about we try something different, _hm_? I can take you to Burger King, they have a bigger jungle gym and better food, what do you say?"

"No! I want to go to McDonald's and see Taiki-kun again!"

It was no use trying to reason with his son, he was as stubborn as his mother.

"Fine," Daisuke answered begrudgingly. "Let's go…"

…

"Yippie ki-yo yippie yay!"

Ryouma gasped in amazement as Kyousuke made gun gestures with his hands and aimed them at the child in a playful manner. "I wanna be a cowboy just like him, daddy!"

"If ya'll give me ye'r money I'll give you a kid's meal."

Daisuke wondered if Kyousuke really was a demon sent from hell to torture his poor soul.

"Ryo-kun, you go play and I'll come over in a moment," he told his son before turning back to the employee behind the register. "Give me a kid's meal and a cup of water."

"You didn't want to order anything for yourself today? I have a _coupon_ for a large-size fries," Kyousuke said tauntingly as he waved the rectangular piece of paper in front of him, his signature evil smirk plastered to his face.

"No. Thank you." Daisuke inwardly commended himself for acting composed for once in front of the maniacal employee.

"Well, you can have a seat and I'll bring your food over once it's ready." For once, Kyousuke looked harmless, but Daisuke narrowed his eyes anyway. He couldn't let up his guard that easily. Even as he walked toward the play room, he kept turning back to glare at the younger man as if he expected him to attack when he least expected it.

Kyousuke came over with the tray exactly 80 seconds after he placed his order, not that Daisuke was counting. As he set the food down in front of him, Kyousuke gave him a big grin, and for the first time, Daisuke noticed the deep dimple that was set in his cheek.

 _Slate has a dimple._

Daisuke inwardly shook the thought out of his head. Slate was a gentle and kind boy who risked everything to be with Walker, despite all the odds against them. Their love was beautiful and perfect, and how dare he even try to compare Kyousuke to the ideal Slate. Kyousuke just winked at him and pretended to crack a whip his way.

Oh no, that asshole of an employee was nothing close to Slate. It was an offense to even consider it.

After Kyousuke literally galloped away, Daisuke took out his phone and stared at it, thinking long and hard about whether or not he should read the new chapter of _Cowboy Crazy_. Apparently, this was supposed to be the final chapter and he was dying to read it.

Daisuke looked up and caught Kyousuke's attention, who pretended to tip a cowboy hat in his direction. How could this get any worse?

Deciding to actually go through with it, Daisuke pulled up his story, looking toward Ryouma to make sure he was playing (again he was busy with that Taiki kid in the ball pen), and eagerly began to read.

 _Slate looked up at the glittering stars dreamily as he nuzzled into Walker's chest. "It's lovely," he whispered._

" _Not as lovely as you…"_

 _Smiling happily, Slate turned and planted his lips onto Walker's, both of them becoming instantly warmed—_

Daisuke heard a sigh coming from behind him before he realized the weight on his shoulders. He wasn't really surprised to find Kyousuke leaning on his shoulder, reading along with him.

"Don't you just love these cheesy romance plots?"

Daisuke quickly shrugged the employee off of him and hid his phone in his suit pocket. When he looked back up, the employee was sitting beside him.

"What do you want?"

"I like you," Kyousuke blurted suddenly, causing the other man to blush redder than he already was.

"W-what?"

Kyousuke leaned closer, resting his elbow on Daisuke's shoulder. Their faces were barely inches apart, and the older man tried pulling back to put some space between them, only to have Kyousuke lean in even closer.

"I said. I like you. It's not every day I find a man dressed in designer suits who uses coupons at McDonald's and is obsessed with sappy romance stories."

Daisuke's heart sped embarrassingly and he could swear that Kyousuke could hear it pounding. "I never ended up using a coupon," was the only thing he managed to say.

Kyousuke chuckled, a melodious sound that sent Daisuke's pulse into overdrive. "Well, let's see if you'll use it this time," he said, putting a coupon with a note written on the back in the older man's hand.

When the employee went back to work, Daisuke remained frozen in his seat until Ryouma came over to him. "Daddy, are you okay? You look like a tomato." The young boy then saw the paper in his father's hand and took it, reading aloud, " _I already saved my number on your phone. Call me. Kyousuke._ And there's a winky face too!"

Daisuke snapped back into reality and snatched the coupon from his son's hand. "Give me that," he exclaimed, blushing harder, if that was even possible.

"Oohh…daddy's got a boyfriend, daddy's got a boyfriend!" Ryouma sang teasingly.

"S-stop that right now! Let's go home!"

Just like last week (except for the fact that he was far more flustered this time around), a red-faced Daisuke dragged his son out of the restaurant, trying hard but failing not to look at Kyousuke on his way. The employee just gave him a wink and Daisuke had to stop himself from fainting right there.

…..

Later that night, Daisuke searched his phone for a new story to read since _Cowboy Crazy_ was officially (and satisfyingly) over. As he raked the list of new releases, one in particular caught his eye. " _Lovin' it at McDonald's_ by Mao."

Daisuke smiled to himself and saved the fic on his phone to read later. For now, he had more important things to do. Without another moment's contemplation, Daisuke searched his contacts and found Kyousuke's name saved with a couple of hearts. He smiled at the employee's antics and pressed the call button.

After exactly two rings, a familiar voice answered, "Howdy partner!"

"Okay, you really need to stop doing that…"

The End.


End file.
